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★ MOM BRENDA'S KITCHEN ★

★ KITCHEN OF RECORD · BUFFER ZONE BETWEEN BASEMENT AND OUTSIDE WORLD ★
★ PIZZA ROLLS ARE DONE · PIZZA ROLLS ARE DONE · PIZZA ROLLS ARE DONE ★
HOME SWEET HOME ~ since brenda's ~ 12 3 6 9 00:00 ★ CLICK ME ★ ★ COLD SAUSAGES ★ 88:88 ★ MICROWAVE ★ GULP STORM brenda's stew PIZZA ROLLS · 5lb PIZZA ROLLS · 5lb PIZZA ROLLS · 5lb popsicle do not eat ~ unknown ~ good job! CHORES ★ CLICK TO OPEN ★ PIZZA ROLLS R DONE ~ love mom ~ ★ BASEMENT (do not go) ★ BRENDA ★ RINGING ★ PIZZA ROLLS ARE DONE i am not asking again brenda amazon said ur package is here
↦ GO TO THE BASEMENT ← BACK TO THE MAP

★ THE SCROLL OF SHAME ★ things brenda has yelled, in order ★

  1. PIZZA ROLLS ARE DONE.
  2. PIZZA ROLLS WILL BE COLD.
  3. PIZZA ROLLS ARE COLD.
  4. i am not microwaving them again.
  5. WHO LEFT THE FRIDGE OPEN.
  6. AMAZON SAID YOUR PACKAGE IS HERE.
  7. amazon said it again.
  8. your father is on the phone.
  9. your father is still on the phone.
  10. are you alive down there.
  11. i am calling uncle greg.
  12. uncle greg is on the phone now.
  13. he says hi.
  14. he says you should come up.
  15. i am bringing the pizza rolls DOWN.
  16. i am at the bottom of the stairs.
  17. i can hear you queue.
  18. the pizza rolls are on the floor now.

★ ABOUT MOM BRENDA ★

brenda has been the load-bearing wall of the SKRUNKFUGINS entertainment empire since 1999. she does not play overwatch. she does not understand overwatch. she knows that tracer is in the basement and that her son is "doing rank" and that "ranked" is "a thing that takes 14 hours."

her contributions include: cooking the pizza rolls, yelling that the pizza rolls are done, yelling that the pizza rolls are now cold, periodically answering the phone, and not going in the basement (a bylaw she enforces on herself).

★ THE KITCHEN AS A LIMINAL SPACE ★

the kitchen is the buffer zone between the basement (sacred) and the front door (cursed). nothing important happens in the kitchen. all important things pass through the kitchen on their way somewhere else.

the fluorescent light has been flickering since 2014. uncle greg said he'd fix it. uncle greg has not been here since 2014.

the phone has been ringing since 2017. nobody answers it. nobody knows who is calling.

© SKRUNKFUGINS ENTERTAINMENT EMPIRE LLC™ · brenda's likeness used with permission (verbal, while she was yelling)